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pretty boys dolled up in pink aprons
[don't smoke kiddies:it's bad for your voice]
Your one-stop guide to the world of #wafflecrack! 
21st-Nov-2005 03:44 pm
NOM | 三宅健
So. Hi. I died, got regurgitated, and died again.

But seriously. A bunch of you (if you even read this thing anymore) probably don't know much about the world of wafflecrack. Honestly, I don't blame you. 8D

So let's start with a quick guide, huh?

The handy FAQ for #wafflecrack!

So, who writes this stuff?
Waffle Crack was born from the minds of ketsune and pieces while staying up laaaaaaaaaaaaate at night and fangirling about the boys of w-inds.. FLAME and Lead eventually snuck in, and Gackt soon followed along with HYDE. Sometimes, the girls inserted themselves, but never as Mary-Sues (That's just... bleah.). Who knows, perhaps more Japanese entertainment stars will join in later on.

At any rate, the majority of Waffle Crack is written by ketsune. When she's not braindead.

Who are the major players of #wafflecrack?
Tachibana Keita
Lead singer of w-inds.. Pretty (cherry, for which he blames laizuki) boy. Amused by the crack as long as it isn’t happening to him directly. Once had to wear a leather skirt after losing a bet to Ryuichi (who never lets him forget it). Hates fangirls, Gackt, fangirls, dressing in drag, fangirls, any and all nicknames given to him, fangirls, crack, fangirls, getting mistaken for his sister Mio, fangirls… Did we mention he hates fangirls?

Chiba Ryohei
Leader of w-inds.. Likes being sane and straight (hates being called a closet gay by Furuya). Won’t admit he reads fanfics about himself. Wishes Furuya would stop clinging to him. Intelligent enough to outwit Keita and Ryuichi when he wants (read: not besieged by fangirls (and fanboy)). Has mills of fury. And a giant cap collection. Suffers all the more because Kimi is a biased fangirl.

Ogata Ryuichi
Rocker of w-inds.. Has a fangirl army (to Keita’s horror). Can summon people (but hates getting compared to Yuna). Traumatized upon mention of his hair in Forever Memories. Steals Ryohei's Shounen Jump magazines. Wants Furuya and Akira to join his fangirl army. Occasionally mistakes Ryohei's head for an egg and fries it. Likes to tease Ryohei and Keita to no end (as compared to real-world counterpart).

Izaki Yusuke
Ex-leader of FLAME. Likes to remind everyone of that. Self-declared leader of wFL (no one listens to him on that). Wants a fangirl army. Needs a cute nickname. Engages in kick fights with his twin far too often. Highly emotional. Easily made jealous. Somehow gained the ability to project a Dragonball Z-style aura and “Satan powers” while filming the Devilman movie. Scares the hell out of Seigo. Hates (loves?) Kyohei for leaving FLAME.

Izaki Hisato
Ghetto boy of FLAME. In charge of keeping Yusuke in line (read: kicking Yusuke into the closet). Likes to torment his twin far too much. Likes puns (which torments Hiroki far too much). Has “Devilman powers” from filming the Devilman movie. Stronger than Yusuke if only because he played the good guy. Laughs maniacally.

Kitamura Yuu
Young’un of FLAME. Acted in Deep Love ~Host~ (the other boys will never let him forget the sex scene). Has a (friendly?) rivalry with Furuya. Not for Ryohei. A Kitapon (whatever that is). Hates being called a Kitapon. Likes tossing the boys out of windows. Sane enough to realize that hanging out with wFL isn’t going to be good for his mental health anytime soon. Does it anyways.

Noguchi Seigo
New’un of FLAME. Newbie to #wafflecrack. Knows L’Arc~en~Ciel on a personal level (we don’t know how). Thinks logically (unlike most of the others). Chipmunk-cheek-cute. Easily hurt by mention of his failed one single with FLAME. Or Yusuke wanting Kyohei.

Kaneko Kyohei
Ex-FLAME. Now soloist. Pops in from time to time to check on the crack. Harassed by Yusuke. Doesn’t like being called a kitty. Is a Kyoropon. Straight pervert. Wonders just why the hell he still keeps coming back when he knows all he's going to get is much suffering.

Nakadoi Hiroki
Lead no leader. Dies from puns (currently dying from that first sentence). Likes tormenting Akira. Hates getting called constipated (usually by Shinya). Overly sensitive about his moles. Has dressed in drag (claims Akira and Furuya were hotter). Chokes easily from laughter. Laughs anyways.

Taniuchi Shinya
Lead no rapper. Obsessed with constipation. Has a little notebook with notes on all members of wFL. Highly protective of it. Sarcastic. Likes tormenting Hiroki and Akira. Innuendo pervert. Scared of fangirls. Secretly reads shoujo manga, not that anyone knows it yet. Yet.

Kagimoto Akira
Lead no pretty boy. Makes a HOT teacher in drag. Childish. Very Childish. Wants fangirls. Badly. Pushes blame of constipation on Hiroki. Hates Vanilla Ice Cream. Struts on a catwalk like nobody’s business. The #wafflecrack pet (he doesn’t realize it).

Furuya Keita
Lead no young singer. Makes a hot fangirl in drag. Perky. Very Perky. Wants Ryohei. Badly. Came out of the closet, figuratively speaking, after coming out of a mirror with Gackt, literally speaking. Rivals with Yuu after Deep Love. Super fanboy? Has over 50 orange caps. All looking the same.

Gackt Camui
Source of eternal terror for #wafflecrack. Particularly for Keita (both). Only love greater than the pretty boys of #wafflecrack is HYDE. Speaks eloquently and politely for all the dirty things running through his mind. Likes Visual Kei(ta).

HYDE (Takarai Hideto)
Vocalist of L’Arc~en~Ciel. Was tricked by Seigo into joining #wafflecrack (and hates him for it). Calm and sane amongst the crack. Whether because of his wife and kid or because he smokes cigarettes instead of crack. Only person who can (barely) handle Gackt. Hates being that person.

Kimitsu (ketsune)
Almighty Goddess and Moderator of #wafflecrack, YO. Or one of them, at least. Likes tormenting the boys. So totally biased towards Ryohei. For all the self-insertion, isn't going to make the boys fall in love with her (they hate her too much for that). Owner of the PURO-K building.

KC (pieces)
Almighty Goddess and Original Creator of #wafflecrack, YO. Or one of them, at least. Likes having the boys as her personal harem. So totally loves the Keitas. Despite the occasional self-insertion, won't make the boys fall in love with her (but is more than willing to glomp them forever). Owner of the PURO-K real estate and apparently Kimi's secretary.

What's with all the closets?
Closets are VERY handy enclosed spaces for the #wafflecrack boys to torment each other in. The PURO-K building apparently has shitloads of them.

How about the kicking out of windows?
It is a known fact that fangirls congregate around places where their objects of their fandom are. In this case, the wFL boys are in the PURO-K building, and thus there are mobs of fangirls surrounding the building awaiting the boys to come out, regardless of the exit they take.

The boys, with the exception of Ryuichi, Yusuke, and Akira, are deathly afraid of fangirls. And even then, Ryuichi and Yusuke tolerate fangirls only so far before they get scared. Therefore, they'd much rather not get sent out of the building into the lions' den. So as punishment to each other, the boys do exactly that by kicking each other out of the windows. 8D

PURO-K Building, PURO-K Building, you keep on mentioning it, but what's it like?
The PURO-K building is a high-rise situated on a street in Ginza, Tokyo. No, I'm not divulging the exact location. It's surrounded by stores of all sorts, whether they're giant department stores or smaller convenience ones, along with a couple of office buildings. The PURO-K building itself is sort of the one-stop shop for entertainment artists, with its various floors dedicated to the creation of various aspects of the entertainment industry.

There are 12 floors, basement not included, to the PURO-K building. Wide ceiling-to-floor one-way windows on each floor provide some gorgeous views of the Tokyo skyline, particularly in the apartments. Three elevators connect all the floors, but in order to get past the first floor, you need a card key and a DNA scan (yes, we're apparently super!sophisticated) or ridiculously brute force. There are also stairs, but since the boys see fit to get most of their exercise from the gym, those often go unused.

In order from top to bottom, the floors are:
12: Residential Area (11 Apartments)
11: Residential Area (11 Apartments)
10: Residential Area (11 Apartments)
09: Library/Snack Bar
08: Dance Studio
07: Fitness Training Complex
06: Art Design Studios
05: Wardrobe
04: Video Recording/Photoshoot Studios
03: Music Recording Studios
02: Vocal Recording Studios
01: Lobby, Reception
BA: Video Game Arcade

Sadly, no, it's not real.

Why are only some of the boys gay? Shouldn't all of them be?! You know they are!
Okay, yeah, here's the thing. While Kimi is yaoi-tolerant, she really isn't a yaoi fangirl. No matter what this seems like. But hey, it's very plausible given the way the characters in here act for some of them to be gay (Gackt in particular). And while the boys certainly act, uh, just a tad bit out of character, most of the FACTS are based off the real people. Age/birthdates, entertainment careers, names, etc. And the real boys certainly aren't gay (or haven't admitted it for me to know if they are).

Bottom line - this is not meant to be a yaoi/shounen-ai fanfic, this is just crack based off real people. It's much easier for me to adapt it to fit with real life situations (such as girlfriend scandals/rumors) as they pop up if I don't totally twist them.

*repeat answer to above question*

Speaking of gay... who is, and who isn't?
Gay: Furuya Keita (but only for Ryohei), Gackt
NOT gay: Tachibana Keita, Chiba Ryohei, Izaki Hisato, Kitamura Yuu, Noguchi Seigo, Kaneko Kyohei, Taniuchi Shinya, Kagimoto Akira, HYDE
Might be gay but refuses to be definite: Ogata Ryuichi, Izaki Yusuke, Nakadoi Hiroki

What's with the IRC screennames and IPs?
The screennames of the wFL boys are all generally based on nicknames or related to something they did in one way or another. Gackt and HYDE's screennames are based on songs they've done.

Tachibana Keita: ~tachibanana (nickname - Tachibana mixed with "banana")
Chiba Ryohei: [ChiBaka] (nickname - by Keita/Ryuichi)
Ogata Ryuichi: ichigo_dragon (word twist - (ryu)ichigo, Ryu meaning dragon)
Izaki Yusuke: o-sukeyaki (nickname - Yusuke mixed with "sukiyaki")
Izaki Hisato: -debiru_boi- (Hisato played Devilman)
Kitamura Yuu: Kita_Yuu (shortened version of Kita(mura) Yuu)
Kaneko Kyohei: =^Koneko_Kyo^= (word twist - koneko from kaneko)
Noguchi Seigo: 'pecotan-- (Seigo was formerly known as Peco)
Nakadoi Hiroki: ^hiro_kingu^ (nickname - he gave himself it)
Taniuchi Shinya: =shinchan05= (nickname - Shin(ya)-chan)
Kagimoto Akira: aruka9 (nickname - Akira was an Arcanine for wFL-mon)
Furuya Keita: // FRUITini // (nickname - Furuya was an fruity martini Dratini for wFL-mon)
Gackt: asrun^dream (from the song Asrun Dream)
Hyde: -shallowSLEEP- (formerly trick_on_you (based off the Laruku song "trick"), now based off Shallow Sleep)

Technically, yes, they could change the screennames if they were so displeased with them. After all, they didn't give themselves the names, I did when I created IRC accounts for them. But they're lazy.

I tried to get into the #wafflecrack channel and couldn't! How do I get in?
Sorry to say, #wafflecrack is NOT a real channel. And none of the boys' IRC screennames/accesses are real either (they are, however, based off their official sites/production company's sites). If it is, it's certainly not the same as the one referenced in this community. (I don't even use IRC in real life.) Likewise, the PURO-K building (which is reportedly somewhere in Ginza), is NOT a real building. And again, if it is, it's not the same one the boys are in.

You're such a ripoff of Suburban Senshi IRC!
The IRC chatlogs? Hell yes. I admitted THAT in the very first entry.

Waffle Crack as a whole? No. Totally original stuff from my messed-up mind (and occasionally, pieces' mind as well). Sometimes I'll transplant the boys into a crossover thing, using a script from an episode of an anime I'm fond of, but even that is really my original creation. You're not going to find this stuff anywhere else on the 'net, folks.

It's too hard to read the chatlog text!
Assuming you're too lazy to highlight it (though you shouldn't since I did put so much work into coloring it XD), the chatlog text has been colored for dark backgrounds. Preferably, you should read it on the main wafflecrack page instead of in its own entry page or on your friends page if you have a light background.

Regular scripts and stories, though, you should have no problem with.

How often do you update?/You haven't updated in so long! You can't just get me addicted and leave!
I can because I'm evil like that. >D MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Honestly, I have a life. Or a semblance of it. wafflecrack is updated when I have time to create it (because honestly, doing it daily kills my brain sooner or later), or if I go online and stir up some fresh crack with pieces and choose to post it here. I suck at keeping schedules, so I'm not going to make any promises or schedules. There's also the matter of fading fandoms - I am a very easily bored/distracted person. But I'll try to get it together as often as possible.

Yo, this dope is wicked shit! Any way I can get in on some more o' tha stuff?
You wanna write wafflecrack? So, two alternatives:
1) Write a short piece of crack (keeping to the details of wafflecrack's universe), e-mail it to me (icyemblem[AT]yahoo[DOT]com) with the header "LJ wafflecrack Application", and I'll get back to you within a week about it.
2) Create your own crack reality if you can't seem to get in the state of mind for mine, and post it separately. I honestly don't mind helping you promote it.

Any other questions about wafflecrack? Leave a comment with it and I'll edit this post with an answer!
21st-Nov-2005 10:35 pm (UTC)
Character bios = LOVE! XD
22nd-Nov-2005 03:10 am (UTC)

22nd-Nov-2005 03:23 am (UTC)
Er... I own the concrete building, you own the real estate? 8D
22nd-Nov-2005 03:29 am (UTC)
... XD Aw but it'd be more amusing if I was your secretary.

I suppose owning the land works though.
22nd-Nov-2005 04:33 am (UTC)
You're my secretary who bought out the land from under my nose to keep the building there because I'm irresponsible and we'd all suffer without waffle crack. 8D

Yeah. XDDD
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